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It's now been two whole months since I gladly viewed Texas in my rear view mirror (hey, isn't that a song?). And this summer has gone by in a flash as I count down in single-digit days moving day to Pennsylvania. At times, it almost seems that I just dreamed the whole living in Texas thing. Then again, sometimes it seems that I musta been crazy to quit my job, uproot, and move back across country to go $100K+ in debt for a dream. And at other times, it doesn't seem like I should even be 31, but maybe 25, 26. Hmmm...
My other thoughts include:
- wondering if which emotion, anxiety or excitement, is winning;
- calculating expenses, and going mad by the thoughts of a terribly tight budget;
- determining if one can actually do nothing and make a living;
- wishing my powerball numbers would magically win an excessively large jackpot;
- and, reflecting on what life will be like without my cats for 12 months, then getting depressed about the thought.
So, with all this mumbo jumbo swirling around the ole gray matter, I stay amazed that I get any sleep at all.
Since I'm at home for the summer, I have to use mom's MS PC which has IE on it instead of my beloved Mac. YUK! IE totally blows. I've tried for weeks to log into Blogger with no success. Nothing I did fixed the problem. Finally, unbeknown to my mother, I installed Foxfire and once again happiness rules the kingdom. Now, the only problem will be explaining to my mother what this icon is and what it means. That should only take a few weeks...
Anyhoo, the good news is, I can once again access blogger and finally get down some of these blog thoughts that have been circulating around my noodle. Stay tuned for more...
Join me & become a member of the ASPCA and help the ASPCA fight animal cruelty.
The ASPCA was founded in 1866 as the first humane organization in the Western Hemisphere. The Society was formed to alleviate the injustices animals faced then, and we continue to battle cruelty today. Whether it’s saving a pet who has been accidentally poisoned, fighting to pass humane laws, rescuing animals from abuse or sharing resources with shelters across the country, we work toward the day in which no animal will live in pain or fear.
At the beginning of this month, I turned in my notice. I had no idea how liberated I'd feel. Just peachy with a side of keen.
To backtrack a bit ... spring semester 2001 I began working for my current company. After graduation, I accepted a full-time position. Moved into a "better" position in the spring of 2002. Then in 2005, I moved halfway across the country... by myself ... to a new position at headquarters. (Oh glorious headquarters with all the VPs and SVPs.)
Anyway, away from family and friends, I settled into a new life. Adapting to this large metroplex with its flat land and hot, triple-digit weather (summer 9 months a year), I made new friends, and learned a lot about myself. The main lesson I learned: I have no place in corporate america. A good 6 years of solid effort, I can no longer play the internal political games, no longer work to put another penny in a stockholder's pocket, and no longer tolerate the de-empowering BS. So, after two years and change, I will finally say goodbye to Dallas.
In celebration of my impending departure, some work friends decided to throw a Happy Hour, or what I call the "Goodbye or Good Riddance" party (depends on your point of view). And on this note, I finally say Ciao Dallas, hello East Coast!
I've had a major case of writer's block. Or maybe more precisely, writer's intimidation. I read other blogs and think, wow.... how creative, funny, insightful. And then I think how blah mine is in comparison. Then if I actually had some topic or thought to write about, I think why would anyone want to read this. After debating this internally for a half hour, I end up staring at a blank blog and writing nothing. So in four or so months, I've only written 11 posts & one is still a draft. Pathetic really.
The novel I started is also suffering this same fate, as well as my poetry. I think I have great thoughts until I actually start attempting to write them down, then the doubt comes, then the paranoia. The first few years, I blamed the block on working in corporate america - soul sucking, creativity draining, corporate america. I still think this is partially to blame, but I've realized I'm just panicky & scared. Then I get paranoid that when others have previously complimented my work, they were just being nice to spare my feelings. This line of thought quickly turns circular, and I'm back to panic, doubt, and paranoia until I just walk away and zone out zombie-like in front of the idiot tube. (At least TV has one useful aspect.)
Anyway, I'm going to a poetry weekend in May and I'm hoping that will help instill some confidence, or at least some good feedback.
Anyway, not that you cared, but here it is.
After a month or so of not blogging, I have returned - not that anyone really cares, but hey, I gotta do something at work.
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