Ciao Dallas

At the beginning of this month, I turned in my notice. I had no idea how liberated I'd feel. Just peachy with a side of keen.

To backtrack a bit ... spring semester 2001 I began working for my current company. After graduation, I accepted a full-time position. Moved into a "better" position in the spring of 2002. Then in 2005, I moved halfway across the country... by myself ... to a new position at headquarters. (Oh glorious headquarters with all the VPs and SVPs.)

Anyway, away from family and friends, I settled into a new life. Adapting to this large metroplex with its flat land and hot, triple-digit weather (summer 9 months a year), I made new friends, and learned a lot about myself. The main lesson I learned: I have no place in corporate america. A good 6 years of solid effort, I can no longer play the internal political games, no longer work to put another penny in a stockholder's pocket, and no longer tolerate the de-empowering BS. So, after two years and change, I will finally say goodbye to Dallas.

In celebration of my impending departure, some work friends decided to throw a Happy Hour, or what I call the "Goodbye or Good Riddance" party (depends on your point of view). And on this note, I finally say Ciao Dallas, hello East Coast!

paranoia and lacking confidence

I've had a major case of writer's block. Or maybe more precisely, writer's intimidation. I read other blogs and think, wow.... how creative, funny, insightful. And then I think how blah mine is in comparison. Then if I actually had some topic or thought to write about, I think why would anyone want to read this. After debating this internally for a half hour, I end up staring at a blank blog and writing nothing. So in four or so months, I've only written 11 posts & one is still a draft. Pathetic really.

The novel I started is also suffering this same fate, as well as my poetry. I think I have great thoughts until I actually start attempting to write them down, then the doubt comes, then the paranoia. The first few years, I blamed the block on working in corporate america - soul sucking, creativity draining, corporate america. I still think this is partially to blame, but I've realized I'm just panicky & scared. Then I get paranoid that when others have previously complimented my work, they were just being nice to spare my feelings. This line of thought quickly turns circular, and I'm back to panic, doubt, and paranoia until I just walk away and zone out zombie-like in front of the idiot tube. (At least TV has one useful aspect.)

Anyway, I'm going to a poetry weekend in May and I'm hoping that will help instill some confidence, or at least some good feedback.

Anyway, not that you cared, but here it is.

back to blogging

After a month or so of not blogging, I have returned - not that anyone really cares, but hey, I gotta do something at work.