paranoia and lacking confidence

I've had a major case of writer's block. Or maybe more precisely, writer's intimidation. I read other blogs and think, wow.... how creative, funny, insightful. And then I think how blah mine is in comparison. Then if I actually had some topic or thought to write about, I think why would anyone want to read this. After debating this internally for a half hour, I end up staring at a blank blog and writing nothing. So in four or so months, I've only written 11 posts & one is still a draft. Pathetic really.

The novel I started is also suffering this same fate, as well as my poetry. I think I have great thoughts until I actually start attempting to write them down, then the doubt comes, then the paranoia. The first few years, I blamed the block on working in corporate america - soul sucking, creativity draining, corporate america. I still think this is partially to blame, but I've realized I'm just panicky & scared. Then I get paranoid that when others have previously complimented my work, they were just being nice to spare my feelings. This line of thought quickly turns circular, and I'm back to panic, doubt, and paranoia until I just walk away and zone out zombie-like in front of the idiot tube. (At least TV has one useful aspect.)

Anyway, I'm going to a poetry weekend in May and I'm hoping that will help instill some confidence, or at least some good feedback.

Anyway, not that you cared, but here it is.

back to blogging

After a month or so of not blogging, I have returned - not that anyone really cares, but hey, I gotta do something at work.

fashion unfairness

This morning on GMA (Good Morning America), the fashion topic was the oversized bags that women carry and the potential shoulder and back problems resulting from carrying these oversized purses or handbags. Why do they carry these giant bags? Mainly because that’s the fashion trend. If Hollywood carries something and deems it cool, so must the average Jill. That got me thinking about the unfairness of genders and fashion.

First, let’s look at purses. Why do women carry purses, especially these oversized ones that can cause a variety of issues? When interviewed, some women pulled out everything but their bathroom sink – make-up bags, massive wallets, checkbooks, paperwork, books, lunch (someone had a ziploc bag of broccoli soup), various kids things, photos, all sorts of hair products (some even full-sized), etc. Good grief! I have a smaller gym bag!

Historically, men carried purses. A man’s purse consisted of a leather drawstring pouch to carry coins, and was often looped through men’s girdles or belts for safety. Not until much later did women begin carrying bags, and then still for practical purposes. Now women carry handbags like they won’t be home for days. Plus they complain about all the stuff their lugging and how heavy it is! My theory: the bigger the bag, the more crap you’ll find to stuff in it. So, just buy a small bag and make the kids put their stuff in a kid-sized backpack. A small wallet with money, driver’s license, and insurance card; a small antibacterial hand sanitizer; a small pack of tissues; a pen; a few coupons – that’s all in my purse. What more do I need? If I'm going out of town, I have a suitcase (on wheels).

But men, what do they have? Wallets - a wallet in their back pocket - that's it. So simple and practical. Do they feel the need to carry an extra pair of socks "just in case"? No. Of course, the fashion industry preys on women, convincing them they need the latest trend. I say take a stand, carry a smaller purse or go all out and don't even carry a purse. Why do you need a $500+ handbag anyway that looks like you live out of it? Unless it can do alot more other than carry my wallet, I have better things to do with $500 and I won't look like a bag lady.

Much more on this topic later...