not wearing pajamas

As the holiday season approaches, I face the dilemma that so many travelers face when visiting family – the pajama debate. Typically, I only sleep in a tee-shirt. That’s it. No socks, no bottoms, no undies. Just a big, soft tee. In my house, we have not problems with this sleeping gear. And in we, I mean me and my cats. No one cares if a bit of bare fanny is showing, because let’s face it, cats are always in their birthday suits and as long as you pet and feed them, they could care less about everything else. But at mom’s house, this sleeping attire, or lack thereof, may cause issues. These issues include, mom rising early, the dog, grandkids running around, and various other family members popping in through the two weeks I’ll be home, combined with I have to use the guest bathroom – which is the main bathroom located in the hall – very easy viewing right around the corner from the living room.

I could just keep a bathrobe or sweatpants near the bed to use when the case arises for me to make way from the bedroom to the bath. But that doesn’t eliminate the problem of the grandkids. My niece, while adorable, doesn’t people close doors for a reason. And sleeping late with her around … not an option. Add the dog in with the niece and no pjs … you’ve just created a recipe for disaster.

With these thoughts in mind, I debate on exactly what to wear. My mom encourages nightgowns. Me, I can’t stand gowns because they wrap and twist around my legs. That’s no good. Another consideration, I could go with a pj set (top with matching bottoms), but again, the pant legs twist and ride up. Then I have the short option instead of the pants. But no one wants to see me in shorts, especially me, and besides, talk about riding up. . That just doesn’t make for a nice morning picture. In essence, I toss and turn way too much and sleep way to hot which is why I went commando in the first place. But in the spirit of holiday travel, I guess I have to go with the lightweight pj pants.

Now… where to buy some…

not using not

When I started this blog, I lacked a title… and well, really a purpose. Although, in all fairness I don’t think a blog needs a “purpose” per say, but you see my point. Anyway, I really just started using Blogger just to see what it was like. I got to the title part, and thought, oh shit, I have to have a title. Now, if you knew me, you’d know that I over analyze and agonize over things like names. To me, a name, whether it be for a website or character, should give a feel to the piece. I never just randomly name things. Come on, I spent 3 weeks debating acceptable titles for my website.

Trying not to think about it, I focused on my blog’s purpose. I decided to focus on my short writing – using the blog to encourage myself to write a little bit every day, and hopefully, use some of it towards a story I’m writing. With that in mind, I decided to use a short piece I wrote one morning in the coffee house part of a local bookstore (how I love Moleskine pocket notebooks!). Hence, the first blog became “not drinking coffee”. I then decided that was a fun title for my blog, and voila! Blog titled.

Now, this may have inadvertently caused a domino effect. I used the “not” in my second post, entitled “not going to the gym”. Now two is just coincidental – not a pattern. But then, I used it for a third post and now a fourth time (and I already know what the fifth post title is). So, after four, almost five times, a definite pattern has emerged. The question has not become, do I continue using the “not” and become entrapped and potentially stuck. Or do I go ahead and break out of the model now?

This I agonize over. Forget world hunger, genocide in Darfur, civil war in Iraq, or any one of the many problems afflicting the world. I guess that’s how people continue to live their lives without going insane.

not going to work

Most days I wake up and wonder why. Why bother getting up? Will anyone notice if I don't go to work? Probably not. Of course the day I don't go will be the one day my boss calls - unlike the days where I expect her to call and she never does. But I digress... I mainly wonder why I bother getting up because I don't want to go to work. I don't like my job (now there's a surprise - someone in corporate america who does NOT like their job). So every morning I have the same debate with myself about going to work or not.

How did I get to this point? I’ve worked for the same company for five years. While not a long time in the relative scope of things, it feels like an eternity when I allow myself to think that I do not want to continue on this path. I took this latest position deluding myself that it would provide a resume boost and alleviate the boredom. While many aspects of this role can help the ole resume, I can honestly say deluding yourself can only last so long. The aforementioned boredom directly resulted from my previous position consisting of periods of mind-numbingly busy work intermingled with short bursts of chaos. However, I can honestly say I’d rather be bored. Why? Two main reasons – the coolness of my former manager combined with his smarts (yes, some managers do use logic!) and I’m still bored. Not only that, for a serious increase in responsibilities, I seriously got screwed on the paycheck. Again, that’s one of those things I attempted to delude myself after the HR person made me drink the kool-aid.

So after five years, I finally come to the realization (for the 500th time) that I do not want to do this. But the question is, what is it that I want to do. Ah, the million dollar question. Obviously, if I had known what I wanted to do, then I would be doing it. Right? You would think so, but herein lies the problem. Arg.

Oh well. Off to bed to once again debate in the morning whether or not to go to work.